A Ski Helmet Can Hide So Much
by xMrsJamesPotterx
Summary: Lily and James, how they got together. I promise this is different to all the others. R & R?
1. Stilettos and White Lycra

*This story isn't actually mine, it is my friends, she is called Searching for My Happy Ending, but I did help with some of the ideas and basic plot, however, she is discontinuing it and I thought this was absolutely ABOMINABLE, so I'm writing the rest for her, apologies if it is not up to her standard*

Lily POV

I hit the ground with a thud.

"Marlene Ruth Ellen McKinnon! If you leave your freaking stilettos on the floor again I will drive one of the heels through your jugular!"

A rather muffled reply floated up from downstairs.

"If I understood what that meant I'd come up with a devastating comeback, but, unfortunately, I don't and therefore it does not offend me".

Ignoring this rather skewed logic I threw the offending heel into the wall. Hey- it hit me first!

We were currently packing for a ski holiday as after 10 years of nagging my parents, as a 16th birthday present they'd let me go to their chalet unsupervised with two of my friends. Although it was me doing the nagging I do judge my parents slightly for letting Marlene McKinnon loose on their chalet unaccompanied. She is, to put it nicely, slightly criminally insane, when you get to know her. Trust me. A BIG mistake on my part.

We won't have much to damage though; our chalet is in a tiny Swiss village called St Luc that has approximately 60 occupants in total, and exactly 0 occupants under 20. Still, should be an interesting experience... If nothing else then it gave me a chance to get away from the munchkins (I refuse to call them Marauders, it would inflate their egos so much they would be in serious danger of taking off. And it's for funsies; the expression on their face after being called munchkins is priceless.) I'm especially glad to get away from head munchkin, who is, ::cue scary music:: James Potter…

James POV

Sirius strutted out of the changing room looking proud of himself. He was wearing none other than a skin tight white lycra "ski suit" he looked liked he'd just discovered the room of requirement all over again. He began striking poses explaining in detail just how well it showed off his muscles, the female assistant was staring looking traumatised and, when he smacked his butt, swiftly fainted.

"See! My beauty overloaded her brain!" he said triumphantly. I was currently bent double, comatose with laughter and Remus still looked slightly in shock. He finally managed to choke out

"Won't you be a little... well... chilly?"

"Moi, chilly? Real men are immune to cold!" He said.

"Just like real men wear lycra?" I asked.

"Yes! Finally someone's got it!" he exclaimed.

"Fine, but don't blame me when you die of hypothermia." said Remus

"But Remsie-poo" he said, looking confused "I'm immortal" The boy worries me sometimes...


	2. Pink Marshmallows and Nutella

The first day of holiday

James POV

Sirius was first outside today as Remus had given him nutella at breakfast (never a good idea), he bolted out the door like a hyperactive 5- year old and promptly came running back in screaming, also in the manner of a hyper active 5 year old, "Holy shizmuffins! It's COLD out there!!" He stared at us accusingly, "Why did no one tell me Switzerland was cold!"

"We're in the alps Sirius... snow?" Sirius still looked blank.

"Never mind I'm sure they'll be a spare suit around here somewhere." Thus began the search for a ski suit and the total destruction of my parent's chalet. (And the Lycra abomination, thank god)

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM WEARING THIS! I am Sirius Orion Black, I need my hotness, and pink is not my best colour!" He marched out of his room clothed in what seemed to be a giant hot pink marshmallow.

"Well, look on the bright side, if you fall on the slope then you'll just roll the rest of the way down," I said

"And…" added Remus "We will never ever lose you on the slope, which actually just made me really depressed…Damn You Sirius!" And thus Remus shuffled off to the kitchen, clutching his spoon and nutella jar.

"This is a chicks ski suit though!" Sirius wailed back at me "I can't be seen in this! It would be like putting a rock cake in a chocolate fountain, IT'S JUST WRONG!"

Sirius sulked and eventually gave in, hiding his face as we walked up to the lift, where we would meet our snowboard instructor, he brightened up considerably as he saw our instructor, who was a tall glamorous woman called Sonia (she'd taught me for a few seasons before). Sirius came up to me and whispered, "How do you say you're hot in French?"

"It's _J'ai les issues mentales_" I replied

"Thanks prongs" he whispered back (he did not have the best grasp of French) and sauntered up to Sonia, looked her up and down and said in what I assumed was meant to be a suave, seductive voice "J'ai les issues mentales" Sonia seemed rather confused by this strange foreigner with the terrible accent and replied

"Err… decour…" before backing away slowly; Sirius was completely oblivious and strutted back over to us,

"I think she likes me"

Remus and I had both snowboarded before and Remus was the best, closely followed by me, and Sirius, who had never boarded before was straggling far behind us. He had the confidence, but not the technique, which resulted in quite a few very impressive falls, and after each fall him jumping up and saying "I totally meant to do that". Getting up the lifts was pretty interesting as well, Sirius would, without fail, get bored, lose concentration and fall off every lift and then, when teased, would maintain that he 'didn't fall off, he decided to get off early!' which only made Remus and I laugh at him more, of course.

Lily POV

It was Rose and Marlene's turn to go up the t-bar together this time, leaving me all lonesome, with just eighties songs to keep me occupied, (our favourite pastime on lifts was to sing such masterpieces as Come on Eileen and Wake me up before you go-go, which resulted in some rather strange looks from passing foreign skiers.) This time however I was joined by a boy (well I think it was a boy, it was hard to tell under the ski helmet, goggles and balaclava he was wearing) and he said in rather muffled tones

"Mind if I come on this lift with you, there are three of us and my two friends are on a lift together",

"Sure, same situation here, but how did you know I was English?" I replied, then it dawned on me… "You didn't hear…" A slight movement under the balaclava showed me he was smiling

"I happen to like Come On Eileen" he said. Oh this was embarrassing; I could practically feel the tip of my nose (the only part of me visible) reddening. He must have picked up on this because he laughed.

"Don't laugh at me! Tisn't nice" I muttered in what I have to admit, might have been a slightly sulky tone of voice. This only made him laugh more. "So… are you staying in St Luc?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're staying in my parents chalet, near the bakery, you?"

"We're staying on the outskirts of the village in my parent's chalet as well". The conversation continued like this and I was beginning to really get to like him but then the people on the T-bar ahead of us, who I assumed to be his friends got tangled in each others board and fell off, "Well I guess this is my cue to leave" he said

"Well, I guess I'll see you around" I said as he got off

"Yeah, hope you do" he replied and I watched him until he disappeared behind the next hill. He appeared to be really laying into his friends, wonder why…

James POV

"You IDIOTS you just had to choose this time to fall off!"

"I didn't fall off that clot brain over there pushed me off!" protested Remus

"I di-" Sirius started to protest but I interrupted him

"Do not tell me you decided to get off early AGAIN; you crapfaces interrupted a conversation I was having with a really nice English girl!"

"Ooh was she hot?!" was, predictably, what Sirius asked.

"I couldn't tell actually, all of her face was covered except the tip of her nose, but it was a lovely nose tip…"

Sirius immediately broke out into a loud chorus of "JAM-JAM'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!"

"Do NOT call me Jam-jams!"


	3. Swiss Cheese and Spontaneous Combustion

James POV

When we finally got back at about 5 we were all tired, and, in some cases, bruised. Sirius had taken a very impressive wipe out on a slope, and made a crater in the piste, much to the amusement of the Swiss children who whizzed past us at light speed (seriously, what do they feed those kids, steroids!) laughing manically and pointing him out to other equally as amused adults. The experience was humiliating for Remus and I also as we endeavoured to lift up Sirius's limp form (He insisted he couldn't get up himself).

So when we got back no one could quite face the horror that would result if we tried cooking ourselves, though Sirius insisted that he was an amazing cook, but fortunately Remus put his foot down, so we went to a local restaurant for dinner. We were halfway through a discussion about whether cheese could be the cause of spontaneous combustion (just don't ask how we came to this subject) when in walked none other than Marlene McKinnon and Rosa Shielding, some girls I knew slightly from my lily-stalking at school-I had followed lily around for 2 years, hoping to gain her affection. Unfortunately Sirius decided to join me in my ventures and, good friend that he is, tried to get lily as annoyed with me as possible. These attempts usually involved pus of some sort and lily's hair, and the result for me was never pretty.

Anyway the two girls, walked in, caught sight of us, and for some unknown reason immediately looked like incredibly amused. At this point I have to refer back to the wise words of my eight year old self, "Girls are so weird…"

Lily POV

I was just walking in to the restaurant we'd decided to go to for dinner when I saw Rosa and Marlene standing in the entrance of the restaurant whispering and laughing about something. I couldn't be sure but I think I caught the sentence, "Lily will just LOVE this!" Strange, but they're probably just plotting a snowball ambush after dinner or som- OH. SWEET. MOTHER. OF. CHOCOLATE! Please tell I did not see what I thought I just saw, tell me it was an illusion or something, ANYTHING but the reality of seeing _potter and the munchkins_ sitting at a table. I chanced another look, and yes, it was them. Its official, the universe has got to have some sort of grudge against me. What have I ever done wrong?!

I grabbed Rosa and Marlene by the arms. "You know, let's go somewhere else, this place is way too, um… hot"

"Too hot!? Lily, we're at over a thousand six hundred meters" said Rosa

"And besides" said Marlene and I think I detected a hint of mischievousness in her voice, "I like the look of this place…"

After about 5 minutes of ever so slightly pointless arguing, Marlene and Rosa lost patience and pushed me bodily through the door, (rather harder than was necessary I thought). I landed on something warm and squishy. For a brief moment my mind was at peace and I was only thinking of the distinct likeness between my favourite common room chair and my current seating arrangements but then intelligence caught up with me and I realised it was not a something but a someone.

Oh deary me, won't this be fun to try and explain in French… I was just trying to figure out how to say it was my crap lousy friend's fault, when an extremely obnoxious voice rang in my ears.

"Prongsie! Look, a girl fell into my arms! I've been trying to convince you for two years that they do that! VICTORY IS MINE!"

I scrabbled my way (extremely gracefully of course) out of the lap of Mr Black and came to the realisation that I have fallen into my own special horror movie… I could name it "Return of the munchkins"!!! But, back to more pressing matters, such as the fact that the entire table appears to have recognized each other, and the excitement of this has short-circuited Sirius' brain (the fact that he was rocking back and forth muttering Lily-pop, Rosa-bean and Marlenesicles was my first clue.)

Rosa and Remus are staring at each other looking love-lorn and mournful, and Marlene is gleefully poking Sirius' still rocking form (she is easily amused) leaving Potter and I in an extremely awkward and red faced silence. (OK fine, the red face was just me, there are defects to being a redhead, Potter was just staring at me, his mouth slightly open, as if he couldn't believe this was happening, which unfortunately, it was)

"Soo…" I sprinted through my mind to find something vaguely intelligent and/or interesting to say, "Cheese… Swiss cheese, cheese is good…" Oh way to go brain, now he thinks you're a freak, wait, why do I care, I don't care I couldn't care less it would be physically impossible for me to actually care less, and now I'm babbling inside my own head! Could this get any sadder?

Thankfully Sirius breaks the ice (and his chair) by trying to lean back on it and stretch, subtly putting his arm round Marlene. However subtlety and Sirius are just not soulmates and he overbalances and has ended up on the floor, much to the amusement of the Swiss waitress that has come to take our orders. Rosa Marlene and I make a mad dash for the French dictionaries we are all carrying while the guys just head straight in. Their combined French vocabulary consists of fromage and petits pois, so this could be interesting.

James POV

After being kicked out of the restaurant, we decided that our best option was probably getting a takeaway pizza from a little boulangerie that was in the centre of town. So we walked with the girls, messing around and talking amiably for a while. Amiably meaning, Rosa and Remus flirt subtly to each other, Sirius trying to flirt with Marlene when Marlene is currently hitching a ride on Sirius's back and endeavouring to throw snowballs at Rosa and Remus. This leaves me, suddenly struck dumb, listening to Lily sing quietly. She's actually quite good, I've never told her before.

However this did not last as Sirius was whining that as he put it Remus had "totally ruined his chances with the fit foreign girl who was totally into him!" by not just ordering for them in the first place. He was also choosing to do this in an extremely annoying childish high pitched voice and was eventually told by Marlene to walk at least ten feet away from us, or shut up!

Sirius pouted and went to sulk at the edge of the road. So we ignored him for about a minute before hearing a very high pitched and strangely girlish screech from the road about ten feet away. Evidently Sirius had gone too close to the edge of the road and had walked over a snow cap at the edge of the road, collapsing it and falling down the snow covered slope at the side of the road. The head of an extremely sheepish Sirius appeared over at the edge of the road, shortly followed by the rest of him. I regret to inform you that, at that moment my friend had turned into something resembling the abominable snowman. He was completely caked in powdery snow from his feet to (horror of horrors) his hair.

Lily POV

From inbetween fits of laughter I managed to gasp out "Sirius, your, your hair!" Sirius froze, a completely disbelieving expression on his face, and one cautious hand crept up to his soggy and it has to be said, deflated, hairstyle. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" his anguished cry reverberated around the mountains. "It's, it's… flat", the last word was said in what could only be described as a whisper of despair.

"Sirius, you ok?" asked Marlene tentatively. Sirius seemed lost for words; he just gave a tiny shake of the head and continued walking, the occasion finger or two timidly touching his hair in the vain hope it might not be true.

Marlene went off to comfort him and Rosa and Remus drifted away leaving me with Potter, I swear I think fate has got bored and is trying to play matchmaker with my life or something because I seem to be finding myself in this situation a lot…


End file.
